This month on Everyday Expats we’re talking about the importance of Vision. Living every day with a clear sense of who we want to be in the world is perhaps the most essential element of a successful expat experience. And yet, many of us wander through life with only a vague awareness of what we want to bring into the world each day.
I’ve met a few people in our life overseas who really embody this sense of connection to values, vision and intention and I’m thrilled to share the experiences with you this month of Franchesca Minikon-Reece.
Franchesca is an American living in New Delhi and I first met her when we were living in Madagascar. I’ll never forget – I was dropping my middle son off for school and from the classroom came the most amazing, full-hearted laughter. I knew then and there that the source of the laughter was someone I had to meet. A caring, generous and fun-loving mom, management specialist, wife and mother of three, Franchesca offers her reflections this month and the keys to living with vision and purpose.
Read her responses to my Everyday Expats Questionnaire below and watch her Everyday Expats interview for our conversation along with her top 3 reminders for answering the question – Who do I want to be in the world?
Everyday Expats Questionnaire
Tell us a bit about yourself? Where did you grow up? Where have you lived? What currently occupies your time, mind and heart?
I grew up in Providence, Rhode Island (The biggest little state of the union!). I left Rhode Island just after completing my freshman year of high school and moved to Massachusetts to attend high school. I continued to live in Massachusetts through college and graduated.
I’ve lived back and forth between the U.S. and Africa since 2002. I’ve lived in a few different cities in Rhode Island, a few different cities in Massachusetts, in Burkina Faso, Nigeria, Rwanda, Madagascar, Maryland, Virginia and am currently living in India.
So many things occupy my head and heart! My children and husband currently occupy my heart! My kids are my joy! I work in Management, and do my best to impart knowledge to my staff, and treat them and my colleagues with respect. My work is my heart! I believe in my work and my contribution to my community.
It has been a privilege to live in India. Exploring New Delhi and India has been spectacularly stimulating. While living in India, I experience all there is to see, touch, smell, hear, photograph, wear and EAT! This place is full of so many contradictions! There is beauty here in the form of people and culture (extraordinary history of this country and the diverse religions we are exposed to), but there is also tragedy and inequality. I’m especially aware of this in the case of women and it’s something that has really drawn my attention since moving here
Becoming a member of a book club has filled me with an abundance of delight. Getting lost in a great read, then spending time with smart personalities to talk about what we have read.
When do you first remember realizing that you’d live an international life?
WOW! Great question. One would think it would have been when I was a Peace Corps volunteer, but it was actually when I first received my international assignment to live in West Africa. I was not a volunteer, but was being paid to live overseas, was receiving a shipping allowance, was provided with a furnished apartment. I had to stop and think about the time zone I was in, and how they had an impact on my ability to connect with my mom and my brother (two individuals who I am extremely close to). I think the hardest part of living overseas, and the moment I realized I was living an international life, was when I realized I could not immediately call my mom whenever I felt like it, or call my brother to ask him about work. This was before WhatsApp!
What is your absolute favorite part of living a globally mobile life?
I guess the most obvious answer to that question would be the opportunity to live in different countries, different communities, and being in a constant state of adapting to the newness of my environment. No matter how long I live in a place, I will always be a foreigner, and I accept that. I have found myself in conversations with people about how I am different in an obvious visual way from them, but how I am so much like them in the not so obvious ways. It’s a delight to see how someone else’s eyes grow larger when they discover they share a similarity with you. It’s amazing to watch, and also a bit comical.
What’s your least favorite part?
Even though my family is with me (husband + kiddies), I do miss my mom, and my siblings and cousins. It’s not that I miss talking to them (the difference between when I lived in Nigeria and now, is WhatsApp). I communicate with my cousins and siblings almost every day. I speak to my mother once or twice every week, but I miss being able to just jump in a car and driving to see her. I do feel fortunate that I can still call her when I want, but giving her a hug, and running from her hands that like to tickle me, makes me miss home!
What have you most learned about yourself because of this lifestyle?
I am more resilient than I had initially thought I was. I knew since I was 15 that I wanted to join the Peace Corps. However, it is not until I was placed in my village, in my dorm size room (which also served as my kitchen, living room and sometimes bathroom) that I realized how resilient I needed to be in order to serve a successful, fulfilling and complete tour of service. I realized how important it was to make the best of the situation. I had the choice to sit around and cry, worry and stress about being alone, or I could immerse myself in the culture of the wonderful Burkinabé people who welcomed me to their community with open arms.
What do you consider to be your “everyday expat” super powers?
WOW. Super powers? My super powers?
1) My laugh…my loud laugh from the gut! I love to laugh, and I try to bring people “into my sphere” when I laugh! It’s such an exhilarating feeling, even more so when I get others to join in with me. Most of the time, they don’t know what I am laughing at, but they laugh because they are overjoyed by my LOUD laugh and cannot control themselves!
2) My generosity. I mean this in many ways. It could be an extra handful of peanuts I share with a colleague; it could be an extra ten minutes to discuss a really important matter with a friend, where they require a second opinion before making a decision; it could be money, in the form of bus or cab fare to get home to help a sick relative; it could be a compliment. People love compliments, and I love giving them! It could be encouragement. Everyone needs encouragement!
I like to think about how the seemingly “everyday” choices we make in our expat lives are actually huge boosts for our mental health, physical wellbeing, ability to connect with others and sense of self in the world. The goal of this series is to bring these reminders to life. For this month’s theme, what 3 tips, suggestions or insights would you like to offer the World Tree Coaching community?
I believe it’s important to act with integrity. It is important to be faithful. It is important to serve. It is important to be supportive. It is important to speak up. It is important to NOT go with the herd. Do not be like everyone else. Laugh loudly, laugh deeply, laugh with your gut! It’s contagious! So, here are my top tips for connecting with vision…
Do not be afraid to be vulnerable. Being vulnerable allows you that space to sometimes reflect. It could be a short or extended period. It does not matter.
Be truthful to yourself: Be honest – Act with integrity – Act with faith.
Enjoy the moment, and do not worry if people think you are too happy, too loud, to goofy or too excited about everything. The moment you are in will not last forever. Enjoy it here. Enjoy it now. Then you get to reminisce about it tomorrow!