Tag Archives: personal foundation

I remember when we were heading to our first overseas assignment as a family. It was 2009, my husband and I had both lived abroad before, but this was our first time exposing our children (ages 3 and 1 at the time) to the world outside the United States.

I was so incredibly excited to be moving to the Dominican Republic. I’d done a school report on the DR for my high school Spanish class and had been friends with a Dominican exchange student at our school.

It felt like a dream come true. It was our first choice of assignments, I speak Spanish and had high hopes of finding meaningful work and all of our family members are beach-lovers so I knew we would happily bask in the surf and sand.

I felt like it was one of those places that called me, that I was destined to go. It was all meant to be.

And then I remember riding from the airport to our new home. “This is it?” I thought. Old Nissan pick-up trucks held together with duct tape, piled ten feet high with mattresses rumbled past unscathed, perfectly spotless Lamborghinis. Donkey carts full of piña competed for space against motos carrying five or more members of a family, oftentimes the baby dangling happily to the side. Black spilling exhaust, the thumping of merengue behind blasting car horns and screeching tires, potholes and stray dogs and precarious power lines, open sewers all under a blanket of sun and humidity that burned my face and saturated my nose.

Nothing was as I had expected.

And in it’s shocking imperfection, it was perfect. Somehow it already felt like home. Like “a” home.

As with anything – this awareness is not a uniquely expat experience. It’s not something that only those of us living between cultures can see. But, because we live between places we’re made deeply aware of the shades of gray that makeup the world.

It’s the reason that a place with human rights violations can also be a place where we fall in love.

It’s the reason that walking among soaring skyscrapers and pulling up a chair to endless dishes of perfectly crafted foods, doesn’t remove from our brains the knowledge that women are being made to shut up and pour tea in the hallways of those same buildings.

It’s why witnessing staggering poverty breaks our hearts and leaves us feeling helpless, but also enables us to see laughter and happiness on the faces of people who’s lives we know could be much better. And then we ask, "Well, who’s really to say what’s better?"

Of course, it’s also the reason we never fully go back to our passport countries. Because now we see them in all of their never-ending gray. And then we start to see ourselves as part of that. Perhaps we’re gray too. Nothing’s all good. Nothing’s all bad. It simply gets complicated.

The truth is – the only real sign of perfection, is imperfection. Imperfection is the norm (whether we like it or not). Imperfection is what’s real – in the places we love and the people we are.

So why does this sit so deep in the awareness of those of us who move?

Because that dichotomy – of seeing all the imperfections in the places that bring us so much joy and of finding the perfection in the places we never expected to love – gets us closer to the truth about the world.

Living with the truth is so much more fulfilling. It’s what makes a life lived around the world so compelling. We can love somewhere and see its pain. We can recognize how drawn we feel to freedom and mobility, while also acknowledging the deep loneliness that comes from being so far away.

We stop seeing in black and white. We live right smack in the middle. We live both places. We are both places. Maybe it’s not even really gray in there. Perhaps it’s where all the color really lies.

We can never un-seen that...ever.

No wonder we can’t go “home.”

This past week I had so much fun creating a series of Facebook live videos where I answered the question, "What does it take to practice mindfulness?"

This is such an important topic to me and I love to support people as the learn simple, easy-to-access skills to engage more fully, live more deeply and connect more authentically to themselves and the world around them.

Mindfulness can be an everyday practice - something we do throughout our day in small ways that can lead to big change. These skills take commitment and patience, but they're actually quite simple and completely doable within your daily life.

Everyone can practice mindfulness!

Below you'll find the entire Facebook live video series. Day One is an introduction to the concept of mindfulness and the subsequent videos outline the 6 mindfulness practices offered through the Personal Leadership model.

Heads-up: If the videos are muted when you click on them, simply right click to unmute.

If you'd like to learn more about what you see here and get support in putting these skills to work in your own life, here are some ways we can work together:

  • My one-on-one 12-week program Finding Your Way: Everyday Mindfulness for Critical Moments is currently in the beta-testing phase. Early Bird Registration begins February 1, 2018. 
  • Combined coaching and facilitation programs in Mindfulness and Personal Leadership for businesses, non-profits and schools.
  • Individual Coaching - Mindfulness provides a significant framework for my one-on-one coaching programs. Learn more about my life coaching services for expats and individuals in transition here. I am currently accepting new clients for February and March 2018.

Day One: What does it take to practice mindfulness? Intro.

A couple of notes for this video: Here is the book I mention - 10% Happier by Dan Harris (ooops, I say Dan Brown in the video). Also, this video cuts a bit short - apologies, but nothing missed other than me signing off.

What does it take to practice mindfulness?

What does it take to practice mindfulness? *The first video of a 7 part Facebook live series. Join me over the next 7 days to learn about the 6 mindfulness practices I use in my coaching and mindfulness programs.

Posted by World Tree Coaching on Tuesday, January 23, 2018

 

Day Two: Attending to Judgment

Be sure to check out the book Personal Leadership: Making a World of Difference.

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 2 - Attending to Judgment

Posted by World Tree Coaching on Wednesday, January 24, 2018

 

Day Three: Attending to Emotion

This is the resource I mention for expanding your emotional vocabulary.

What Does it Take to Practice Mindfulness? Part 3 - Attending to Emotion

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 3 - Attending to Emotion.

Posted by World Tree Coaching on Thursday, January 25, 2018

 

Day Four: Attending to Physical Sensation

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 4 - Attending to Physical Sensation

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 4 - Attending to Physical Sensation

Posted by World Tree Coaching on Friday, January 26, 2018

 

Day Five: Cultivating Stillness

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 5 - Cultivating Stillness

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 5 - Cultivating Stillness

Posted by World Tree Coaching on Saturday, January 27, 2018

 

Day Six: Engaging Ambiguity

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 6 - Engaging Ambiguity

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 6 - Engaging Ambiguity

Posted by World Tree Coaching on Sunday, January 28, 2018

 

Day Seven: Aligning with Vision

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 7 - Aligning with Vision

What does it take to practice mindfulness? Part 7 - Aligning with Vision

Posted by World Tree Coaching on Monday, January 29, 2018

I’m sitting here with a quickly cooling cup of tea and hoping to bust out the tiniest bit of work tasks before my children come home early due to snow and my husband (likely) comes home early having been furloughed from his job until…well…Congress.

It’s days like this when I often start thinking I need to throw in the towel and just call this day a wash. As anyone who works from home (and I’m including ALL expat spouses whether their job pays them or not because it is work!), one little wrench in the plan can leave you scrambling to rework your schedule. Alternatively, you simply curl up and watch movies.

But – it doesn’t have to be that way. Disruptions big (a serious illness in the family) and small (snow days) – can actually be perfect opportunities to learn. When we’re breezing through and everything seems easy – we may find ourselves on autopilot. That feels good for a while, but sometimes having our environment a little disrupted gives us the opportunity to stop and re-evaluate.

What sorts of lessons is disruption trying to teach you today?

There’s more than one way to do things.

I go to a semi-regular networking coffee in Shibuya. The walk is about 40 minutes from my house. I always walk because it’s pleasant and I enjoy the time to think. But today – with snow threatening and an early release from school pending – I knew I needed to think again about the timing of my day. A couple of shifts (namely taking the train and committing myself to leaving the coffee by 11:00AM) means I’m home in time to get a bit of work in.

Disruption breeds creativity.

Okay, so this is kind of similar to the one above, but it’s really a layer deeper. When we’re out of our regular routine, we may notice things we hadn’t seen before. Take a different route, rework a familiar pattern, see a different angle. Disruption helps us notice new things and that gets our creative juices flowing. Take this blog post for example - definitely the outcome of an unexpected disruption!

Pay attention to your emotions.

The natural feeling of frustration that comes from being interrupted in our planned activities is a cue for us to tune in and pay attention to how we’re feeling. Instead of forcing ourselves into a preconceived box (“I was going to do this. It was going to be this way and I was going to feel like X.”), we now have to ask, “How am I really feeling here?” We may even find the disruption was exactly what we needed to slow down and really see what’s going on inside our hearts.

It’s easier to be mindful when things look different.

Think about all those places you drive without thinking or the tasks you mindlessly complete because you’ve done them a thousand times. When our plans shift because of unexpected circumstances – we have to stand back and pay attention. Problem-solving mode requires us to really focus and to evaluate the whole scene. We can then ask ourselves – Do I scrap this or simply make a small adjustment?

You’re really good at disruption!

Do I need to tell you this? You may hate it, but you’re amazing at it because (assuming you’re an expat) you do it all the time. So, while you may not always feel like a breezy-go-with-the-flow sort of person – it’s in you. Maybe today you don’t need to sweat the disruption all that much. Maybe you could even lay back and put on a little Netflix. No matter what, past experience confirms that it’s within your power to plug along or make a change.

What else can disruption teach you? Are you awake and listening? Are you staying curious, asking questions, coming back again and again to see a different angle?

Let me know in the comments! I’d love to hear how you handle disruption.

Happy New Year Friends!!

I'm a total New Year's lover! I love the clean slate. I relish taking the time to reflect and think about what's past and what's up ahead on the horizon. It's one of my favorite times of the year.

I also love it because it's the perfect time to realign with my values and ask myself the important questions about who I want to be - especially when it feels like I'm constantly having to reinvent myself with every move! For me, as you can guess, this is about becoming more mindful. It's about taking the time to turn inward so that I can be my most engaged self as a reach outward to the world and people around me.

One mindfulness practice that is central to the Personal Leadership® model is Aligning with Vision. This practice is about learning to stop in the moment and ask ourselves, "Who do I want to be in this space?"

I love it because, contrary to simply paying attention, it enables us to see the choices we create by being more mindful in the world. It taps into the idea that we can pay attention to who we are and then choose how we want to connect with the world around us. We've just wrapped up the vision crafting section in the beta-test of my Finding Your Way program and it's been really moving to see how the participants have found their voices in their respective visions.

Part of learning to align with vision is crafting a vision that speaks to you. While there is always a place for goal setting as we enter a new year, this vision is not about the goals you want to reach or the things you want to have. It's not a bunch of fancy magazine images on a poster board.

Rather, it's about understanding who you want to be so that your intentions are driven from that place and not from some outside criteria. It's the kind of stuff we almost never take the time to think about, but when we do - we see things from a whole new perspective. It's the deep down stuff.

I love it!

I'm excited to share that throughout the month of January I'll be taking this short little section of my Finding Your Way program and offering it to clients who want to craft a vision for 2018. This is super fun, super deep work that can make all the difference as you move into the new year.

What happens when you join me:

  • We start with a single one-hour coaching session to begin crafting your vision. Think of it brainstorming with a sounding board and lots of questions.
  • After that, you take a week to work on the vision on your own. Think it over. What makes sense? What moves you? Where does your heart feel drawn? I'll be available via email.
  • Then, we come back for a 45-minute wrap-up session to talk about how you can begin to Align with Vision as you enter 2018.
  • You finish with a vision that is from the heart, connects to who you are at your highest and best and deeply aligns with the way you want to be in the world. Your vision will be the answer you turn to when you find yourself asking, "What now?"

Program Logistics:

Send me an email to register. I'll send you a little bit of paperwork, your payment invoice and a link to schedule your sessions (we'll meet online via Zoom or by phone).

Program Fee:

$150 includes both sessions. No additional discounts are applicable.

See you soon and Happy New Year!

I'm so happy to share my latest article for I Am a Triangle.

Click here to read about how turning your New Year's resolutions into New Year's questions can be a great way to tune in and reflect on where you find yourself during this important transition.

And, as always, consider joining the I Am a Triangle online community through Mighty Networks! It's a great way to meet like-minded, internationally mobile people doing great things. Click here to join.

A parent in a Foreign Service Facebook group recently shared this video that her daughter made about being a Third Culture Kid. It's so well done and does a wonderful job of capturing the emotions of this lifestyle. I even teared up a bit watching it with my oldest son.

Being able to name and identify our emotions is key to successfully navigating the expatriate lifestyle. If you're interested in learning how to better understand your own thought and emotional patterns, consider checking out this free downloadable exercise from my book - The Expat Activity Book: 20 Personal Development Exercises for Gaining Insight and Maximizing Your Potential Wherever You Are. Or, click here to find out more about the book and purchase your copy.

In the past two days I’ve had the incredible pleasure to conduct “get-to-know-you” sessions with the participants in the beta-test of my Finding Your Way: Everyday Mindfulness for Critical Moments program. This 12-week mindfulness skills program will support clients in learning the practical, accessible mindfulness skills offered through the Personal Leadership framework and provide coaching support as the participants implement these skills into their daily lives.

It has been so fun to engage in these conversations! Each of the participants is coming to the program from their own unique desire to live more engaged and more connected with the world around them. I have loved sharing with them the details of how we’re going to be talking about real world skills, actual day-to-day practices and ideas that they’ll be able to implement not just in times of balance, but in times of upheaval.

Please stay-tuned for updates (by liking the World Tree Coaching Facebook page or by joining my email mailing list if you haven't already). I’m hoping to have completed the beta phase and to begin accepting clients for the program in late-April 2018.

I’m also happy to announce that I’m now booking individual coaching clients for 2018. After some time off for the holidays (and to get my beta-testers moving through their program), I’ll begin seeing new individual coaching clients in mid-January.

If you’ve thought about coaching before, but aren’t sure it’s the right fit for you, please click here and schedule a time for us to talk more. This no-obligation session is a great way to see how coaching could support you in reaching your goals, managing transition, gaining clarity and maintaining (or regaining) balance as you enter a new year. Coaching is a true gift to yourself. There’s nothing quite like it!

As a special offer, all new clients who register between now and December 18, 2017, will receive a free copy of my book The Expat Activity Book: 20 Personal Development Exercises for Gaining Insight and Maximizing Your Potential Wherever You Are (a $20 value) along with a voucher for $25 off the coaching program of her or his choice.

Click here to learn more about how we can work together to make 2018 the year you get moving where you want to go!

I first started learning about mindfulness about 10 years ago when my oldest child was a toddler. My initial response was – “No way!” I couldn't imagine how slowing down and paying attention to what I was thinking and feeling would really make that much of a difference.

I kind of liked being a hotheaded, quick-thinker and gut-action sort of person. I wasn’t sure I wanted to change. And yet, I also had the nagging sense that I couldn’t continue along the path I was on…especially once I had children.

I found myself frequently overwhelmed and exhausted, playing the same stories and insecurities in my head over and over again. It just didn’t feel like that was sustainable either.

So, with the encouragement of a dear friend, I decided to take a mindfulness meditation class. It’s an understatement to say it changed my life. But, while I came to very much value the sense of calm and insight I gained from mindfulness meditation – it was the daily practice of mindfulness – of paying attention to what was real, of creating a less judgmental awareness to what was happening around me – that gave me the greatest sense of my ability to stay balanced and get through challenging situations, especially as we began living a life overseas.

The basic definition of mindfulness is: non-judgmental, in-the-moment awareness. The truth is though, I don't think that really helps most people gain that much understanding. If you’re considering working with me – either individually or in a group or workshop – reading these common questions and my responses can help you get a sense of my perspective on mindfulness.

Professionally, I find the greatest joy in supporting people in understanding how they can practice everyday mindfulness (what is often referred to as "informal practice"). I help people bring mindfulness out of the clouds and into their real lives. I'm not a meditation teacher or affiliated with a particular faith or religious practice.

Here are some of the most common things I hear about mindfulness:

“Mindfulness? I could never do that!”

I think what people are saying here is that it feels too overwhelming to learn another thing. And I get that – I was once there too. It can feel like there is no way we could possibly grasp what can seem like a pretty esoteric concept.

I believe, however, that we are all born with the skills of mindfulness – to pay curious, deeply engaged attention to our experiences and to the world around us. Just look at babies! Our natural inclination is to look closer. By learning simple, accessible mindfulness skills to tune in to our emotions, thoughts, physical sensations and more – we’re simply reconnecting with abilities that have faded with time.

And sometimes what people are saying is that it seems impossible to find a way to fit this into their daily lives. I'll get to that in a minute...keep reading.

 “I can’t meditate.

I’ll be honest, anyone can meditate. But, let’s say you don’t want to, or it turns you off, or it feels somehow counter to your spiritual or religious views. That’s okay. Really. Meditation is an incredible tool for connecting in the moment and becoming more mindful. It’s a wonderful way to practice mindfulness. But, from my perspective, it’s not the only way. Meditation is about creating stillness in the mind (not completely clearing the mind) and there are certainly other ways to do that – running, yoga, knitting, cooking, even brushing your teeth(!) – can all be ways to practice becoming more mindful.

“I don’t think it’s normal to be happy all the time.”

This is such a common and unfortunate misconception about mindfulness. Mindfulness is not about being happy all the time. It’s about seeing all emotions as the come, being able to observe them for what they are. It’s true that the practice of mindfulness can help people become less bogged down in feelings like sadness, anger or envy, but that’s not really the goal. Learning everyday mindfulness skills can help you better connect to whatever it is you’re feeling.

“I really need that!”

I hear this a lot. So many people say that they’re interested in learning more about mindfulness, but they’re not sure where to start. Check out some of my favorite resources here. Or join one of my upcoming workshops.

“I’ve been reading about mindfulness, but it’s hard for me to practice. I keep forgetting.”

This is so common! I’ve definitely had periods of time when I felt really distant from my mindfulness practice. This is why I am so passionate about teaching everyday mindfulness skills through the Personal Leadership model.

I fundamentally do not believe that mindfulness has to be an all or nothing experience or that it has to be something lofty or vague. I would like to see mindfulness become less about Instagram photos in Bali (#mindfulness) and more about “Shit! I just spilled coffee all over my shirt and my kid doesn’t have her shoes on and we’re going to miss the bus.”

To me – that’s what it’s really about and whether we sit down for 30 minutes on a cushion or practice taking 10 deep breaths through tears, mindfulness is something we all need more of. It doesn’t mean it’s easy…but it can be more simple.

I'd love to hear from you and learn how I can support you in bringing more mindfulness into your daily life. Please consider joining me in an upcoming workshop or click here to learn how we can work together one-on-one.

I was looking back at some past World Tree Coaching birthday posts and it turns out I write pretty much the same things every year! Seriously. Year one. Year two. Year three.

It's clearly a birthday blogging tradition and all of it's still true, so why change now?

Here's what I'm saying (again):

Yay! I made it!

I love this work!

I love my clients!

This year I'm doing super fun new things (read about some of them here and here and here).

Gush, gush, gush, gush, gush – this job makes me so happy and I’m gonna’ do it forever!

Work With Me! Working with a life coach is awesome! Don’t take my word for it though – check out what my clients are saying. Or read this recent post from another coach friend and learn a bit more about why working with a coach is absolutely something you should do.

I’ve got a couple of clients wrapping up and that leaves 4 individual coaching spots open between now and the New Year. Wait! World Tree Coaching is turning 4 and I've got 4 spots open!? What are the chances!?

Seriously – what are you waiting for?

Wondering what exactly I do? Here's an excerpt from this recent blog post:

As a coach and expat support professional, I help people find home. I whole-heartedly believe that the answer to what home means to each of us is already with us. With age and time and conditioning, we lose our ability to get up close and personal with what we think and feel and that affects our ability to see clearly what home really means. We shy away from the messy parts, we hide the ups and downs and we downplay the things we’re totally rocking. My theory is – it’s all material! I help people learn to be okay with what’s working well. And, I support people as they honestly and gently, refocus towards their inner sense of home when they find what they’re currently doing has stopped serving them well.

How do I do all of that?

I bring optimism and compassion into the space in which we are working together. I believe in my clients – they are whole, capable, experienced and brilliant. Through a lens of love and curiosity, I invite them to step into the space where they can use those traits to get where they want to be.

That pretty much sums it up. Join me and help me celebrate yet another year of supporting people in finding home no matter where they are.

Read more about my one-on-one coaching programs here.

Click here to schedule a FREE, no obligation consult session to see what this coaching thing is all about.

For most of us, it’s probably not too terribly difficult to consider and describe the ways in which our lives have meaning.

If we are a parent, a spouse, a partner, a child, a friend – then we can recognize that we offer love and comfort to someone. We mean something to the people we love and they in-turn mean something to us. That creates meaning.

If you care for plants or pets or you’re responsible for the upkeep of an organization or the day-to-day workings of a business – your life has meaning. If you weren’t there, the work wouldn’t get done. If you didn’t have the work or the responsibility you’d feel a lack of a sense of meaning.

Most of us can find that sense of meaning without too much searching.

Purpose, on the other hand, can be more difficult to nail down.

Purpose implies a larger reason for why we take time to do the things that create meaning in our lives. For some people, that reason is ascribed to a higher power. For others, it’s simply the awareness that we have a limited time on this sphere called Earth and there’s probably something we’re supposed to do with that time.

I had a client once describe it this way:

She loves her daughter and that is one of the many ways in which her life has meaning. Her daughter needs her and she feels a deep sense of love and connection in being her mother. However, while loving her creates meaning, it does not, in and of itself establish purpose.

My client feels that her life’s purpose is rooted in helping people, in making the world a better place, in teaching and supporting others. She feels as though, in her relationship with her daughter, she fulfills purpose by modeling opportunities for growth, for happiness, for compassion and for empathy. Loving her daughter would probably always be enough for her to feel meaning, but deepening that love through the conscious decision to model the above qualities enables this client to fulfill her life purpose each and every day.

I think this is a great illustration of the difference between the two and the way in which meaning and purpose support and reinforce each other.

It’s really quite a fascinating idea if you stop to think about it.

I find that separating the two enables us to see they ways in which meaning and purpose are and are not connected. The above description also helps us to see that meaning and purpose are related to each other. They don’t run parallel, they are interwoven – one supports the other and vice versa. They are different, but they matter so much to each other.

What I think is even more powerful about this is the way in which recognizing the difference between the two can teach us more ways in which we can consciously choose to live our life's purpose through the things that bring us meaning. This alignment means that each day really does matter just as much as the next.

Think about it this way - how many times have you gotten to the end the day and thought, “What did I really do today?”

If you could begin to see how meaning and purpose are different but related, would it create a greater sense of integrity in your life? Would you have fewer of those moments that seem to just slip away? If you were able to recognize your purpose, would it give meaning to things that have started to seem mundane? If you look at what brings you meaning, is it possible you would see a greater purpose?

I can’t claim to have the answers here, but I can’t help but think this is something we often overlook. It certainly gets me thinking!

What about you?

Are you inspired to delve deeper into this? Check out the questions below. They might shed some light on meaning and purpose in your own life.

Leave me a comment too! I’d love to hear how you see the intersection of meaning and purpose.

Some questions to help you consider meaning:

  • Who do I love?
  • Who loves me?
  • When do I feel joy?
  • When do I feel sadness?
  • What moments do I most look forward to?
  • In what moments do I feel a sense of flow – as though I am completely in the zone or totally in my element?

Questions that might help you look at purpose:

  • What do I want people to most remember about me when I’m gone?
  • If I were to find out today that I only had one year left to live, what would I want to do with that time?
  • What do people seek me out for? When the question arises, “Who can…?” when am I the answer to that question?
  • Complete this sentence, “I am here to…”

Learn more about the latest with World Tree Coaching by clicking the links below or by signing up for my mailing list in the right hand tool bar.

Interested in coaching, but not sure if it's the right fit for you? Schedule a FREE 30-minute coaching consult by clicking here.

Read more about what services I offer here.

Check out my current special offers and discounted programs here.